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Hemlock Grove

Hemlock Grove - Brian McGreevy I watched the show before I read the book. I should have avoided both.Strike 1: The overuse of the words retard and f***** in both speech and narration. Thanks to the crazy POV flopping about I couldn't tell if this was coming from the character's mouth or if the author felt that both words were peachy keen to be used with little thought.Strike 2: He said. She said. Peter said. Roman said. Said. Said said said. This was so obvious that I took note of it 10 pages into the book. I honestly can't remember if any other dialogue tags were used, it was that bad.Strike 3: What. Is. Going. On. This story has a lot going on and none of it makes sense. At all. There are so many different plots and bits and pieces introduced in the novel and none of it makes sense. None of it! The strange going ons are either hand waved by crazy Gypsy magic or not expanded upon at all. I realize this is the first in a planned trilogy, but the first book should have enough to stand on it's own legs. It doesn't. Nothing is explained. AT ALL.So there it is, Hemlock Grove, which would have gotten one star if it wasn't a genre I love love to pieces. Props to it for putting a new spin on werewolves and vampires. Thumbs down at everything else.(Don't put bacon grease on your face. Don't.)